Caregiving and Depression: Bernie's Story - Caring for My Mother in Law
"All of a sudden, at 64, I again found myself having to take time off from work to care for my family. Only this time, it wasn't one of my three sons, it was my 85-year-old mother-in-law, Thelma. Ma-Ma, as my kids call her, was always very independent, but after she had a stroke that paralyzed the left side of her body, she needed almost constant attention.
Ma-Ma couldn't live alone, couldn't care for herself or move around very well. My husband and I didn't want to put her in a nursing home, and the responsibility fell on my shoulders. I started taking more and more time off of work to interview home health aides and to take her to medical appointments. I work as a librarian in a middle school. I love my job, and I wasn't ready to retire. But with Ma-Ma, work, and helping two of my sons plan their upcoming weddings, I felt like I was drowning.
With a little help from the local council on aging, I found a great senior center in a neighboring town. It has a stroke program where Ma-Ma can go on weekdays. I also got help from a care manger to keep track of the home health aides. Most importantly, I joined a caregiving support group. Once a week, we get together at the local VFW. We vent, get new ideas, and give each other a shoulder to cry on. It has been great."
If you are a caregiver, and you are looking for some help, start by clicking on Ask Rita above. Also, read over the Tips and Extras on the right side of your screen.
