At the Library
On the first Tuesday evening of every month, Rosa Maria goes to the library to discuss a book with her book group. Usually this group of four women and two men talk casually for a while before the book discussion begins. Tonight, Rosa Maria is telling her neighbor, June, how her life has changed since her husband retired two months ago:
Rosa Maria: Roberto is driving me a little loco, June! Today he gave me suggestions on how to cook my chicken. And I miss having the whole day to myself. Every time I turn around I'm bumping into him.
June: Well it must be nice to have his company, too, isn't it?
Rosa Maria: It is nice most of the time. It's just that I've been doing the housework and cooking meals a certain way for 40 years and suddenly he's always around telling me how I could do it better.
June: He was a foreman at the power plant. I'll bet he misses his role as the guy who gives directions.
Rosa Maria: Oh June, you know Roberto. He really is a sweet guy. Yes, he probably misses leading people on the job. I think he needs to find something to do with all of his new free time.
Stewart: Excuse me. I couldn't help overhearing your conversation. You know, my wife Georgia and I had some similar problems right after she retired from the bank. I had retired from an insurance company five years earlier, and I was the one who was managing most of the household duties. It was a real adjustment to suddenly have Georgia around questioning how much I was spending at the grocery store.
Rosa Maria: May I ask, how did you work it out?
Stewart: Well…it was a difficult patch in our marriage. The switch from working to being at home full-time was very hard for my wife. She actually became quite depressed and ended up seeing a therapist. We got some counseling together, too.
June: Did that help?
Stewart: It really did. She gradually got involved in other interests that she'd never had time for before. It's taken some adjustment by both of us to get used to this new phase of our lives. We love it now.
That reminds me, I need to pick up a book I promised Georgia I'd get for her. I'll be right back.
Rosa Maria: You know, June, it's comforting to hear that I'm not the only one who has ever gone through this. I was about to go talk to my priest. But maybe Roberto just needs to find new ways to use his talents. He's so good with woodworking. Maybe I'll see if he wants to volunteer at the boys' club near our home. He could set up a little shop class. Then he could teach and lead—skills he was so good at on his job.
June: We've been friends for a long time, Rosa. I know you have Roberto's best interest in mind. I think everyone must go through a rough readjustment after they stop working. I know I did. Stewart's wife certainly did. But it's one of those things in life that people don't tend to talk about and most of us are not prepared for how tricky this change can be.
It's almost time to start discussing the book. Do you want to get some more coffee before we get started?
Next: Q's and A's
