Ask Rita

Q: Ever since I went through menopause, sex just hasn't been that exciting. In fact, sometimes it hurts. Don't you think that's nature's way of saying "enough is enough"?

A: Sometimes vaginal dryness and itching after menopause can take away from sexual pleasure. Water-soluble lubricants and physical activity can help. You might also want to talk with your doctor about whether or not estrogen therapy might be helpful and appropriate for you.

As to whether the physical changes that happen with menopause mean that it's time to put the kibosh on your sex life—in my opinion, all good things must not come to an end. Many women live almost half of their lives after menopause. That's a long time to not live fully.

Q: This is really embarrassing, but I haven't been able to have an erection for a while. I've seen a lot of ads for medicines for this problem, but I'm too embarrassed to talk with my doctor about it.

A: Talking about sex can be embarrassing, but there's no need to feel uncomfortable about talking with your doctor. You are not alone! Up to half of 65-year-old men and more than half of 80-year-old men are impotent. Your doctor will not be shocked to hear that you are experiencing this difficulty.

The good news is that losing the ability to achieve an erection is not an inevitable part of growing older. The many causes of impotence include: taking certain medicines, some diseases and operations for them, alcohol, smoking, and depression. In many cases, changing a medicine or getting help for one of these other problems will reverse the impotence problem.

Q: I was having erection problems and I started to take medicine for it, but it didn't help at all. Does this mean that nothing can be done?

A: Not at all. If the cause of your impotence—also called erectile dysfunction--is physical, your doctor may recommend a different type of medicine, a device, or surgery. If the cause of your impotence is emotional or psychological, though, these methods will not work. Rather, behavioral therapy and psychological counseling can be very helpful.


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Brigham & Women's Hospital, Boston, MA 02215
URL: http://www.positiveaging.org/consumer/lc_sex1.shtml
Category: Life Changes Sex After Sixty
Page Name: Ask Rita